I See Boundary Probes!


Having “invented” Boundary Management Therapy (BMT) and having practiced and perfected it over the past several years, I have noted recently that I now see Boundary Probes (BPs) everywhere. I see them in each of my clients’ problems, I see them in the news (especially on the political front) and each of the problems reported, I see them in the community, with my friends and acquaintances, and I see them in myself.

All clients arrive complaining of a litany of BPs from their partners, their children, their employers, and themselves; all of which, they have been saying “yes” to as the guilt conjured up from their Once Productive Childhood Beliefs (OPCHBs) instructs.

I am helpless to do anything about the BPs I see in the news and with others but I am capable of helping each client begin to understand the concept of BMT and begin to eliminate BPs from their lives. It is a simple concept, more difficult to implement, but like riding a bicycle; once you know the basic idea, you only get better at it. As we get better at riding a bike, we get better at BMT for the primary reason that each is intrinsically rewarding. There is nothing like coasting through the beautiful countryside, taking in all that it has to offer; the view, the varied scents, and the feelings of peace and tranquility. So too, with BMT. As we practice and learn more about others and get in touch with our authentic selves, life becomes more enjoyable as our relationships with others continually improve. What then is the “secret” of BMT?

The secret of BMT is that it helps us rediscover the purpose of our emotional feelings! Many of us have lost touch with our emotional feelings through our experiences with our families of origin, the community and the schools as we are “informally” taught to comply with the established cultural standards of deportment (which is generally, “Don’t make waves”). Even those of us who have not lost touch with our feelings, never learned the purpose of them or the value in expressing them appropriately, except through happenstance, because, no one seems to know their purpose or how to express them.

It is a universal concept that the way we express our emotional feelings is based upon our OPCHB of 1. See something wrong, 2. Have an emotional reaction, 3. Get punished or rewarded for our emotional reaction, 4. Feel empowered or disempowered the rest of our lives, as our self-concept develops around reward and punishment of the expression of our feelings, 5. Spend the rest of our lives making either ourselves, others, or both, miserable, all based upon the OPCHB that we scream and get mad or scared when we see something wrong. Notice this activity in your communications with others, in the news, with our politicians, and internationally. No war was ever started on the basis of acting on our emotional feelings appropriately.

Read on, through the site, and learn about BMT, begin practicing it, and begin seeing and eliminating BPs in your own lives. For BMT coaching, contact me or complete an Appointment Request form and schedule your own appointment. Thanks for reading!

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